Why Seduction?

There were really two inspirations for this essay: one was a discovery as to the origins of all seductions. What ties them all together, or rather what lies beneath this peculiar glitch in human psychology that allows us to be seduced--by a person, a work of art, a thought, an advertisement, on and on.

The other inspiration was myself, my own weaknesses when it comes to seduction.
I am a very emotional person, and prone to fall deeply in love with a woman. When I meet someone for the first time. I have a very strong desire to know who they are. To know all their defeats and wonderful experiences in their lives. This can last for a few days, months, or even years. But I fall quickly out of love, as the enchantment wears off and the next prey appears on the horizon.

Now, most people who are like this can have a strong effect on certain women. That is because when they fall in love, for that short period, they give themselves over to the woman in a complete manner, one that is rare for a man. This is devastatingly seductive. It also shows the weakness such a man has for a woman. Look at Bill Clinton, a classic example. Women are the first to forgive the foibles of a Clinton, because they understand deep down inside that he is weak, and his weakness is women. This is is charming.

From the outside, what most people see is the string of victims who have been seduced and from that they deduce an inner coldness on the part of this person. But in thinking deeply about a Casanova, a Lord Byron, a Duke Ellington, or about myself (not that I put myself in their category), I know this is not at all the case.

It is Stendhal who best described the falling in love process in his book On Love. He compared it to the crystallization of tree limbs that are left in a salt mine. When you fall in love, you idealize the man or woman involved. You create an image of them in your mind that is enchanted and full of fantasy. The tree limb is a plain object, but after it has been left in the mine, it emerges with brilliant crystals. That is the mental process when we fall in love.

And a man who has been through this time and again and again and again with many women, comes to see it all very clearly. He has a clear memory, the day or week after the spell is broken, of how he has idealized the woman in question, created something in his mind that in the end is not the reality.

And so, I saw seduction as something that can also be quite conscious--seducers being people who are adept at inviting people's fantasies, making others idealize them in some way, causing them to be enchanted and fall in love. Sometimes, a man or woman can be completely calculating in this manner, becoming a kind of machine for causing the crystallization.

But the game goes on, on all levels. We are constantly doing this to others around us, trying to draw them in, trying to enchant or seduce them. Most of the time it is unconscious.

And so, I simply wanted to make the process more conscious to everyone. A process I saw myself being the victim of on many occasions.

A deep seduction, in which emotions are engaged on a strong level, and minds are penetrated, that is what excites me. The enchantment and fantasy element that is in any kind of book or movie or good seduction. Without enchantment and fantasy, the world can be quite depressing.

What makes me talk about this now was that it all had come back to me the other day, as I was in the shower the other day. Still half asleep, it suddenly struck me how many times in the past I had fallen for this or that woman, of all different types, and how far I had gone in idealizing them. It made me seem rather pathetic, someone with a bad habit. Then I remembered, while still in the shower, that that had been the spark for this essay so long ago, and I wanted to get it down before it disappeared.